Korean Dating Culture According to Someone Who Fist-Bumped Her "Date"

 

I kind of feel like a fraud writing about dating in Korea when I haven’t actually actively participated in it yet. But the fact that I’ve observed it closely and chatted with a few locals should count for something… right? I hope so, because I would hate to be a fraud.

 

That said, I did go out for Korean BBQ and somaek (soju mixed with beer) with a Korean guy. But I don’t think it qualifies as a date—mainly because I fist-bumped him at the end of the night. (I’m awkward, I know). The conversation also wasn’t romantic at all, and I didn’t view it as a date either. In my head, it was more like: I need local friends, and he seems nice enough.

 

We were introduced by a mutual friend, which brings me to something interesting about dating in Korea.

 

Here, romantic partners don’t always meet in the “traditional” way where a guy approaches a woman and clearly makes his interest known. Very often, two people are set up by a mutual friend—just like me and Mr. Korean BBQ. It’s not that Korean guys never hit on women (there are definitely exceptions), but introductions through friends feel much more common and socially comfortable.

 

Dating in Korea is also different in how quickly things become defined. Clarity is preferred, and things can move fast. After just one or two dates, it’s normal for someone to ask the big question: “So… are we dating?” Because of this, I don’t think situationships are very common here (this is an assumption, but it makes sense). Situationships thrive in grey areas—unclear expectations, undefined rules—and that’s pretty much the opposite of how Korean dating works. Vagueness isn’t popular; people like to know where things are headed.

 

As someone who’s been in a situationship before—and who generally likes to take things slow because I’m a chill girl (lol)—this can feel a little intense. But I guess it’s also… efficient.

 

Another thing that really surprised me is Valentine’s Day. In Korea, women give chocolate to men. This genuinely baffled me, because where I come from, Valentine’s Day is basically Women’s Day. Men are usually the ones doing the spoiling. In Korea, though, Valentine’s Day is followed by White Day (March 14), when men return the favour. Still, the initial reversal caught me off guard.

 

So no, I may not be deep in the Korean dating scene yet—but between observation, conversations, and the occasional awkward fist bump, I’m learning that dating here follows its own set of rules. And honestly? It’s fascinating.

 

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