Gift-giving

Gift-giving

Every Christmas, birthday, anniversary or any other special occasion we carefully choose and offer gifts to our loved ones. Most times its something that we do naturally and often forget about the deeper meanings and implications that comes with it.

A gift is defined as something material or immaterial, voluntarily given to a person or group. But as much as it is voluntarily, and given without the expectation of recompense, we (or at least I) often get that niggling sense of obligation to return the gesture.

Gifting is a practice that has been with us since the beginning of human civilization but seems to be at a heightened peak these days. It plays a significant role in social interactions as it offers a meaningful way for people to foster bonds and relationships. As such, a lot of planning and thought goes into it.  

In the aspect of gifts being used to build or foster relationships, it goes without saying that it requires some form of reciprocation. The gift that is given is perceived to be symbolic of what the relationship (any kind) means to the parties involved. Awkwardly so, gift-giving inevitably creates a debt, and very often there’s a debt-balance that people silently keep. Giving too little could signify as not valuing the relationship as much, while giving too much could mean that you overvalue it and causes feelings of embarrassment on both sides.

Gifts could leave us with feelings of joy or disappointment. Pretty sure each one of you reading has received a gift that didn’t meet your expectations and has been consoled with the words, “it’s the thought that counts”. And sometimes that is exactly what it is. I remember doing a class activity in my Anthropology class and the instruction was to write on a piece of paper what you would gift your mate. I was paired up with my friend, David. He revealed that he would get me perfume, while I proudly proclaimed that I would get him a red TV-bar chocolate (it was his favourite). This exchange of gifts was frowned upon by our classmates because the monetary value obviously didn’t match up. For David and I this exchange was one we both appreciated, because I loved a good scent, and the chocolate bar was his favourite. There were no instructions as to what the gift was for, and in my defense, our anthropology class was at the end of the day, and David always liked to snack on something. So for me, in that moment, his favourite chocolate bar seemed like an ideal gift. While the fragrance was a luxury gift, and had more monetary value, in that exact moment it didn’t really matter because it was not what I wanted or needed. Side note, from there onwards, I was referred to as the TV-Bar Girl.

It is so easy for us to get lost in the meanings we attach to gifts, instead of appreciating the gift for what it is. With that said, I believe that we as the microwave-society has diminished the act of receiving a gift that was perfectly chosen/curated.