Tea with Abi ☕

  Feminism Explained By Kirsty Clements “Be quiet, be beautiful, be smart. But not too smart.” Exclaims the misogynist. We, the matriarchal force is exhausted by the narrative scripted by society who commands women to conform to their demands. There are standards in place expecting women to behave a certain way, aspire to ostentatious lives, clothe themselves modestly. She is expected to adapt to domestic skills. These conformities are enforced on women from a young age. All throughout the ages women had one job, which was to find a husband, reproduce and orientate their lives around a family. This meant that men had to produce an income and their wives expected to domesticate the family dynamic. Hence it was reported by Gretchen Livingston that in the USA in the mid-1990s, about one-in-five woman had a child prior to age 20; in 2014 that share had dropped to a significant 13%. This perspective has been around for centuries. It was a way of living, that worked throughout th...

Women on top Today’s blog post is highly inspired by a conversation I had with a (male) friend.   Ambition in its simplest form, is what sparks individuals to achieve. For some, it’s about improving yourself and meeting your goals, and for others it’s about changing the status quo. Ambition is viewed as a positive trait, unless you are a woman. The phrase “ ambitious woman” is usually accompanied by a judgy look, while the phrase “ ambitious man ” is usually accompanied with a look of approval or envy. There is this double-standard whereby men are praised for being assertive and successful, whereas women receive backlash for the same traits. In the workplace, we are expected to perform well and deliver the same level of performance, yet we are frowned upon for being empathetic.  Almost as if ambition and empathy cannot coexist. Ultimately, we have to demonstrate the right amount of ambition to be taken seriously, but not so much we’re seen as a freight train. And when...

Keep calm and delay gratification   Humans are hardwired to want things NOW. The urge towards immediate satisfaction is known as instant gratification . Psychologists define instant gratification as the temptation to forego a benefit in order to obtain a less rewarding but more immediate benefit. This phenomenon is something that is particularly evident in the “microwave generation” of today. Young people have a seemingly uncontrollable urge to want good things and to want them now. We want to experience pleasure or fulfillment without delay. The pleasure principle is basically the driving force that compels humans to gratify their needs, wants and urges. These needs, wants and urges can be as basic as the need to eat, or as complex as the “need” for the latest iPhone (or whatever the trend of the day dictates).   Personally, I get off on instant gratification. Whether it’s working out or working on improving my life, I want to see instant results. And when I don’t, I ...