Notes from Everyday Life

  Does money buy happiness? Many people take the stance that money can’t buy happiness. And they’re not wrong, because we’ve all been exposed to people who are rich and miserable. This is especially common in movies or fiction writing- the rich individual who sits alone in their fancy home that yearns for some sort of happiness. And of course, rich people also have problems. Their problems might be different and might be what is known as “nice life problems”. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not implying that rich people do not have “real life problems”. While money might separate us materially, it does not unevenly distribute trauma or emotional pain. A rich mother losing a child will experience the same pain that a poor mother would experience. Having money could however make the process of losing a loved one easier, in the sense that it enables the family to afford the necessary resources to deal with the death for example.   I believe that a lack of money creates misery. Perha...

  Entitlement and Intelligence Intelligence plays an important role in our day-to-day activities. It determines the type of work we do, the spaces we occupy, how people perceive us and even how we interact with others. Intelligent people have superior cognitive abilities that enables them to complete tasks more efficiently, whereas less intelligent people need to work a bit harder in order to complete the same tasks. This is the neural system’s innate ability and there is nothing that we as humans can do to change this, hence we say you are born with it . Now while this is true, there are also people who are hardworking and just as smart, but intelligence seems to be used as a higher level of measured intellect. We give a higher compliment when we tell someone that they are intelligent as opposed to when we tell them they are hardworking. Already you can see that there is an invisible hierarchy that exists, and   that in my opinion adds to an individual’s sense of entitlemen...

Coaches don’t play - they used to play.   Disclaimer: I’m not a relationship expert . I am merely sharing my  observations ,  some  of  which   you’ve   probably seen,  heard of or  experienced  for yourself . If that is the case, let this post serve as a reminder.  Love is one of the most profound  experiences  know n  to human beings. It’s the one thing we’re all capable of doing.  It exists in many forms ,  but romantic love seems to be the most sought after. Many people seek to express themselves in romantic relationships with a compatible partner . A nd for them ,  romantic relationships  compromise  one of the most meaningful aspects of life ,  and serve   as a source of deep fulfilment . As with most valued treasures in this world, we run into trouble pursuing romantic love.  The questions many of us ask ourselves are:  Why are relationships so hard today? Why do we ...

Women on top Today’s blog post is highly inspired by a conversation I had with a (male) friend.   Ambition in its simplest form, is what sparks individuals to achieve. For some, it’s about improving yourself and meeting your goals, and for others it’s about changing the status quo. Ambition is viewed as a positive trait, unless you are a woman. The phrase “ ambitious woman” is usually accompanied by a judgy look, while the phrase “ ambitious man ” is usually accompanied with a look of approval or envy. There is this double-standard whereby men are praised for being assertive and successful, whereas women receive backlash for the same traits. In the workplace, we are expected to perform well and deliver the same level of performance, yet we are frowned upon for being empathetic.  Almost as if ambition and empathy cannot coexist. Ultimately, we have to demonstrate the right amount of ambition to be taken seriously, but not so much we’re seen as a freight train. And when...

Keep calm and delay gratification   Humans are hardwired to want things NOW. The urge towards immediate satisfaction is known as instant gratification . Psychologists define instant gratification as the temptation to forego a benefit in order to obtain a less rewarding but more immediate benefit. This phenomenon is something that is particularly evident in the “microwave generation” of today. Young people have a seemingly uncontrollable urge to want good things and to want them now. We want to experience pleasure or fulfillment without delay. The pleasure principle is basically the driving force that compels humans to gratify their needs, wants and urges. These needs, wants and urges can be as basic as the need to eat, or as complex as the “need” for the latest iPhone (or whatever the trend of the day dictates).   Personally, I get off on instant gratification. Whether it’s working out or working on improving my life, I want to see instant results. And when I don’t, I ...

  The irony of trusting men. Women of all ages and races are being killed, raped and/or sexually assaulted every minute of every day, at the hands of men. These women are our mothers, our sisters, our girlfriends. They are us. We are them. We are living in fear. Our fears have evolved from being afraid of the dark as little girls, to being afraid of our fellow men . This is the reality for women. And for some reason this reality resonates with me now more than ever. Was I oblivious to it all before? Did I not realize the gravity of the situation? Probably, but that is a cup of tea for another day. Women, especially young women, must think twice before doing daily errands - does the Uyinene post office story come to mind? Don’t even think about going to the gym alone at night. Too often we are told to be careful. It has reached the point where we have to carry pepper spray as you would carry your keys.   We have to change our daily routines to avoid being in the spot. As ...

  Young, woke, and tired. Addressing people with their preferred pronouns, keeping up with laws regarding women’s bodily autonomy, using less plastic, et-fucking-cetera. Every day there’s a different tragedy in the media, a different cause to care about. We are told to stay tuned; we are told what we can (and should ) do about this and that. We almost never get a chance to deal with the occurrence or cause on its own. It’s as if we’re forced to experience the action, the reaction, the news, and the response. And quite frankly, it’s exhausting. When yet another social justice movement emerges, my fingers are working overtime doing research, signing petitions, and sharing the story. Especially because I am a woman of colour with my own socio-political ideals. In a culture where being woke is good (and by ‘good’ I mean that it illustrates that our society is adopting a way of forward thinking), we sometimes forget that being woke all the time, especially trying to be woke online...